“Smite Me, O Mighty Smiter!!”

Ok, so maybe the title doesn’t quite relate, but it still makes me laugh… anyone else remember Bruce Almighty?

Anyway, one thing I’ve noticed as I’ve been reading through scripture is how often people in the Bible ask God to punish other people. I’ve always believed that, as Christians, we shouldn’t ask for things like David did in Psalm 69 to “Pour out your wrath on them”. So, I began to wonder, as I struggle to forgive people who have hurt or sinned against me…

Can I ask God to punish someone? Should I?

Here’s what I’ve found:

What we’re talking about is called “Imprecatory Prayer” and it’s a prayer to invoke evil upon a person. It’s a prayer for damnation. Although, there may be circumstances where this could be fitting… they are VERY extreme circumstances and are intended for those who are beyond God’s forgiveness and salvation. Personally, I don’t know a single person who has sinned against me so badly that I would pray for their damnation or consider them beyond repentance or unworthy of salvation. Imprecatory prayer is not something anyone should seek to practice.

So what should we do in a situation where we feel we have been treated unjustly by another person?

• Matthew: “Love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you.”
• Examine why are feeling hurt. Really examine your motives for asking God for justice. Often times when I feel hurt by someone… I’m so focused on what they’ve done to me that I don’t see what I’ve done to contribute to the injustice and maybe my own hands aren’t as clean in the matter as I’d like them to be. Remember if you pray for God to right the injustice of someone else, but aren’t honest about the injustices you’ve committed, your plan to make someone else pay penance might backfire.
• Ask God to help you forgive the person who hurt you… and, if necessary, seek forgiveness for any part you may have had in the situation. Sometimes our own guilt over unresolved issues can cause us to hang on to pain longer than we need to. Love and Forgiveness is always the best way to go.
• Ask God to help the person who hurt you in any way that He sees fit. Ask Him to show this person the repercussions of continuing on the path of destruction he or she is following so that this person can right his or her path towards God. Make sure your motives are 100% pure. Ask only that God be glorified in doing so.
• Make sure that, when praying for an injustice, you accept that God will do so in His way and in His time. Do NOT seek the right to deliver God’s justice.
• Let Go and Let God. This IS your closure. Once you’ve given your burden to God.. let Him take it. Don’t give any more of your time and energy to feeling hurt at the hands of another. Move on and heal.

Re-kindling the past to warm the future

I’ve been noticing this theme a lot over the last year… Primarily in people of my age bracket (20s)… And this is post offers a great POV on the matter.

Have You Prayed About It As Much As You’ve Talked About It?

Like sayings often do… this one came to me exactly when I needed it.  I tend to talk about what’s on my mind… a LOT.  My husband likes to joke about, especially after a cup of coffee, the speed at which I can rattle through topics.  I’ve always been this way… a girl with the need of a good sounding board.  I like to talk it out to figure it out.

But with this incredible need to talk about my concerns… comes an excessive amount of worry and anxiety.

So, I considered this saying: Have You Prayed About It As Much As You’ve Talked About It?  And for the first time in my life I ‘Googled’…

“How to Pray”.

I honestly didn’t know how to pray.  Don’t get me wrong… I’ve prayed lots of times.  I’ve desired to make it a habit.  I’ve tried to get my thoughts in order and pray actively and with focus.  I’ve habitually muttered dinner blessings.  But none of it ever felt right… not like a receptive conversation with God.  And in my search, I found little help, until I received the message “Prayer Journal”.

I’ve never been much of a person to journal before and a Prayer Journal isn’t something I’ve ever consciously known about… maybe I’ve heard about it or seen one in passing… but I still wasn’t sure what it was, so I looked it up as well.

Of the hundreds of different ways I saw to create a Prayer Journal, I finally just grabbed an old notebook and got to work. For pages and pages, I spilled my heart.   Requests for forgiveness, statements of thanks, pleas for help in my life and in the lives of others littered the lines with ink… and then I prayed.  I spoke out loud to my God, emptying my soul & releasing my burdens, and then for a period of several minutes just sat in silence and let Him replenish me with love and strength.

After a few days of praying this way, I’ve noticed something extremely cool…  Each day, I look over what I’ve entered on previous days and highlight all of the answered prayers!!  What a great visual reminder of the power of prayer!

My whole life I’ve struggled with anxiety and in just a few minutes, I was relieved.

Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Do We Love Our Husbands The Way Jesus Loves Us?

Click the link to read the full post!

Get Your Life Together Before You Go To Church!

I am a baby christian.  I’ve gotten a lot stronger over the last couple of years, but I still have a long journey towards God.  I wasn’t “churched” growing up.  My parents believed in God to the point where they baptized me and got me to know about God… but I never knew God.  My parents were anti-church and through my various experiences with church as a child and teenager (via my Catholic grandmother or friends) I quickly “learned” that I was not “Christian enough” to go to church.  Once I started to do my own research, I realized that this is pretty common among my and my parents generation.  We’ve felt so ostracized by generations of “lifers” that we honestly don’t think that we belong in God’s presence or that we are deserving of His love.

(Here’s another article I love that’s related to this topic!)

But that isn’t God.

God wants me and loves me as I am, today, right now and every single moment. God wants me to seek Him, regardless of my sin, social status, or days I’ve spent in church.

I grew up hearing “God helps those who help themselves”.  Ever find that in scripture?  No!  It’s a quote attributed to Benjamin Franklin! God helps the helpless.  Now, this is in no way an excuse for inactivity.  But, it is a reminder to do all things through Christ.  It’s accepting that I am helpless without my God… my God gives me the tools that I need in life.  I can’t be a better wife without God.  I can’t be a better friend, a better homemaker, a better person… a better anything without my God.  It’s letting go of the control we think we have and turning it over to God.  We let God fill the emptiness in us instead of trying to fill it with something else.

I know my posts are mainly about marriage and this may seem to have taken a sharp right turn… but I promise I’m still on course.  I’m giving myself and my marriage to God.  Alone I am helpless.

You shouldn’t have to ‘Get your life together before you go to God’… You go to God to get your life together.

Marriage Problems? He will restore.

The Promise You Can’t Keep In Marriage

This article —-> The Promise You Can’t Keep In Marriage

…Is Great!  It’s well-written by Pastor John Mark Comer in Portland, Oregon and helps define the purpose of marriage…

with isn’t happiness?

That’s right!  Happiness is the result of a healthy marriage, he explains, happiness is from God!  You can’t shove a circle into a square-shaped hole, so stop trying to shove your spouse into a God-shaped hole.

“Let marriage be marriage, and let God be God… And let God be the well for your soul. Your source of life.”

Taking My Own Advice

It’s really easy to get so wrapped up in a problem that you just can’t make heads or tails of it objectively. Something I’ve started trying to do in the last year when I have a problem I can’t work out is to pretend that it’s not my problem. I think about the problem as though it’s coming from someone else who is asking me for my advice… and suddenly it seems like I know exactly what to do. Sometimes a shift in perspective is all it really takes.

About a month ago, I had a friend call and ask me to meet her for dinner. I could tell she was in distress, but didn’t know until I arrived that she called off her engagement and broke up with her fiance not three months before her wedding. Of course you ask, “What happened?!” What could that monster have possibly done to my friend to make her call off her wedding? What unforgivable deed must he have committed?

As she started to list his indiscretions one by one I couldn’t help but think…”So what? My husband and I have had that same argument times infinity and it was never worth ending our relationship over.” What my friend was explaining to me was normal, long-term relationship stuff. It’s the same stuff every new couple goes through if they are together long enough. It’s “he isn’t as romantic as he used to be”, “he makes me come to him to talk things out instead of coming to me”, “we bicker”, “he doesn’t put his clothes in the hamper”. It happens to every relationship… we say it never will… but it always does. They’re growing pains.

I tried to be optimistic with my friend and let her know that she’s not alone, but also tried to withhold judgement. Although what she told me seems about on par to me, I’m not in her relationship, and she’s the only person who can truly decide if it’s worth moving forward with this man. But using her situation as a mirror to my own I quickly began to feel extremely…

….Petty. I’ll admit sometimes I’m downright rude over silly little human things. But I’m also grateful! I’m so loved and even though he’s not perfect, my husband really does just want to make me happy.

Things aren’t always as bad as they seem when you’re in the trenches… dealing with small indiscretion after small indiscretion every day. And I didn’t realize how petty my issues with my marriage and husband sounded until they were coming out of someone else’s mouth.

My friend is now in couples counseling with her fiance and I pray the use of an unbiased mediator will be exactly the voice of reason they need to decide where the future of their relationship will go from here.

As for us, I’m thankful that God sent my friend to me, to help her in her time of distress and to help push me along my own path of enlightenment. Some days the light at the end of the tunnel looks so bright and I know the struggle and the growing pains will only make us stronger, better able to communicate, and the future so much sweeter.

The Old Shar is Dead

I just recently came across this woman’s blog & she’s amazing! Such and inspirational homemaker, mommy, wife & woman of God!

Hot Mama: Working From the Outside In

I’m switching up the pace a little this week! After weeks of focusing on making changes on the inside in an effort to increase happiness in my relationship I decided to make a new change and start working from the outside in! Obviously, I’ll continue trying to be a better person spiritually and have a better perspective and attitude, but my challenge this week has made a dramatic difference that my husband has noticed in just a few days.

Remember when you used to spend hours getting ready to see your man? I do! Every time we went on a date he had that “wow” moment when he saw me… like the moment when he first saw me at the other end of the aisle at our wedding. Looking back, living together has been the death of the “wow” moment. He no longer just sees my “highlight reel”. He’s seen me morning breath, bedhead, no makeup & sweatpants ever morning for like 3 years. And the same goes for me! I am so sick of that same combination of blue sweatshirt, gray sweatpants & tan slippers, I could puke. Don’t get me wrong… my husband loves seeing me in pjs and I love seeing him comfortable after a long day; he’s adorable. But, it makes me sad that we stopped trying to dress up for each other. I started to realize that the only time we try to look nice anymore is when we are getting ready to go see OTHER PEOPLE! What the heck!? Don’t we deserve that kind of effort put forth just for us anymore?

We do!! Lately, I’ve been trying to get up every day and get ready like I would if it was our first date all over again. I’ve got the shower, the hair, the makeup, the clothes… the whole nine yards… and he LOVES it (partly because he takes this time to do one guy thing or another that he can’t do when I’m around)!! I don’t step foot out of the bathroom until I’m completely put together… cue wow moment.

Lots of benefits here. First, I look great, so I feel great! I’m ready to tackle the day and I’m in a good mood with a great attitude. Working on the outside makes me feel better on the inside. My “new” look makes my husband want to reciprocate… even he has started to spruce up his “day off” look with nicer shirts, jeans & cologne… which reminds me and rekindles in me the excitement I felt when he used to pick me up for a date. Needless to say, all of these happy memories and feelings definitely don’t hurt in the intimacy department either… which helps boost my self-esteem because I feel less like a spinster roommate and more like his sexy new girlfriend.

I know it’s completely against your nature to put yourself first, but trust me, sometimes being a little selfish is actually what’s best for everyone  🙂