Hot Mama: Working From the Outside In

I’m switching up the pace a little this week! After weeks of focusing on making changes on the inside in an effort to increase happiness in my relationship I decided to make a new change and start working from the outside in! Obviously, I’ll continue trying to be a better person spiritually and have a better perspective and attitude, but my challenge this week has made a dramatic difference that my husband has noticed in just a few days.

Remember when you used to spend hours getting ready to see your man? I do! Every time we went on a date he had that “wow” moment when he saw me… like the moment when he first saw me at the other end of the aisle at our wedding. Looking back, living together has been the death of the “wow” moment. He no longer just sees my “highlight reel”. He’s seen me morning breath, bedhead, no makeup & sweatpants ever morning for like 3 years. And the same goes for me! I am so sick of that same combination of blue sweatshirt, gray sweatpants & tan slippers, I could puke. Don’t get me wrong… my husband loves seeing me in pjs and I love seeing him comfortable after a long day; he’s adorable. But, it makes me sad that we stopped trying to dress up for each other. I started to realize that the only time we try to look nice anymore is when we are getting ready to go see OTHER PEOPLE! What the heck!? Don’t we deserve that kind of effort put forth just for us anymore?

We do!! Lately, I’ve been trying to get up every day and get ready like I would if it was our first date all over again. I’ve got the shower, the hair, the makeup, the clothes… the whole nine yards… and he LOVES it (partly because he takes this time to do one guy thing or another that he can’t do when I’m around)!! I don’t step foot out of the bathroom until I’m completely put together… cue wow moment.

Lots of benefits here. First, I look great, so I feel great! I’m ready to tackle the day and I’m in a good mood with a great attitude. Working on the outside makes me feel better on the inside. My “new” look makes my husband want to reciprocate… even he has started to spruce up his “day off” look with nicer shirts, jeans & cologne… which reminds me and rekindles in me the excitement I felt when he used to pick me up for a date. Needless to say, all of these happy memories and feelings definitely don’t hurt in the intimacy department either… which helps boost my self-esteem because I feel less like a spinster roommate and more like his sexy new girlfriend.

I know it’s completely against your nature to put yourself first, but trust me, sometimes being a little selfish is actually what’s best for everyone  🙂

Be The Change You Want to See

For awhile, I’ve been trying to take more responsibility and be more accountable for the conflict in my marriage.  Like most, I believe that I’ve done a disservice to myself and my husband by spending too much time looking past my own flaws and sin and focusing on my perfectly flawed spouse and his own contributions to marital frustration.  When I came across this excellent article today, it hit close to home.  May we all have the kindness and patience within us to extend this kind of grace to our spouses.  Starting today, I am going to dare myself to focus on the good in my husband by trying to look past what he doesn’t do and seeing what he does do for me… without asking… and without my acknowledged appreciation.